help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize