I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
