I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
