ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
