3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
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