Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I would ride that face into the sunset
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
