maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
