Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Randomize
