everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
