girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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