you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
