everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
