This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
