"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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