I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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