I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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