Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
