Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
birth control should be required to get into college
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You're a waste of cheezeits
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
