whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
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