just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
