so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
