And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize