I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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