i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
