Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
