I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
