to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
