You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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