not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
