phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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