Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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