I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
