Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
