I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
