the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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