The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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