I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
