i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
