it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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