I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
