that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
