he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Only a mothe r could love this liver
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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