I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
