Cold hands, warm shart.
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
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