I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
