Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(860): View more from Connecticut

i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.

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(808): View more from Hawaii

guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina

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(703): View more from Virginia

She's allergic to latex.

(678): View more from Georgia

Lucky bastard.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime

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(239): View more from Florida

Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does

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(631): View more from New York

She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat

(1-631): View more from New York

I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness

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(646): View more from New York

He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.

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(+61): View more from Australia

Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours

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(614): View more from Ohio

A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML

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