Hey man sorry I got all grabby
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize