Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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