did you get engaged???
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
