Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
