it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Randomize
