I accidentally had phone sex last night
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
