I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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