I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize